Trials and Tribulations

It's four am. I can't sleep. It's been four days now. Aliana has been diagnosed with H1N1 - better known as Swine Flu. She also has pneumonia, AND bronchitis. When she gets sick, she does it big time. I have made my bedroom the sick room - complete with masks, medicines, drinks, books, etc.

Watching your child be that sick is not fun. Even though she is fifteen, I don't like it at all. I would rather go through it for her. Hearing her cough so hard that it almost makes her cry, breaks my heart.

I wonder how our Heavenly Father feels as our parent, when we as earthly parents stand by and feel so helpless with our children when we try so hard to help them, but they have to go through this process on their own. He must feel similar feelings, with everything we do. Not just being sick - but with the choices we make in our lives. Does He feel helpless, wishing He could reach out and save us from ourselves at times?

I can't even imagine what it must be like for Him. I have a glimpse of it, being a parent, and being entrusted with the care of these precious children He has given me.

Then I think of myself - and the choices I have made, and continue to make. Sometimes I have chills. I am so so very glad for the atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ. Not only did He suffer for our sins, He suffered for every single pain that we have to endure, every trial, every tribulation that we must go through. And hopefully, when we return home, we will be told "well done, thou good and faithful servant".

I am grateful for the knowledge that I have in this life of the gospel and of a kind and loving Father in Heaven. I know He loves me and my children, and watches over us. With Vinny being away, not having the priesthood in our home has been the single hardest thing that I have had to endure, for I have come to rely on it so much. I am grateful for a husband who honors his priesthood, and who I know can use it and is ready and willing to be worthy at all times.

Sleep may escape me tonight. But, I feel the spirit, and I know my Savior is near. Since General Conference - I have felt a stronger urgency to be more dedicated to write my testimony and share it more, especially after listening to Elder Holland's testimony about the Book of Mormon.

I am not going to be a "fence sitter". I want the world to know what I do believe. I DO however, believe in compassion, and kindness, and being good to your fellow men.

As I go through my journey, if I have offended anyone.. please forgive me. I want so much to be Christlike, and I want my children to know that, my grandchildren to know that, and my friends and family to know that.

Yes, the trials and tribulations will come, but they will also teach me. And hopefully, I will use them as I should - as life lessons.

The grandkids in Utah and North Carolina!

Well, even though I really miss my Hailey bug, I'm so grateful that I got to spend three and a half years with her in Raleigh, North Carolina. That was a treat. She was just starting to have sleep overs.. so I'm sure she was as shell shocked as we were when we left. Also- as I mentioned in my previous blog, Rocco Aiden was born shortly after me leaving, and that has been really hard on me, not even seeing him.

But, getting to spend time with Holden and Hadlie in Utah has been a blast. Holden is all boy, and Hadlie is a lot like Hailey, very sweet, and just a joy to be around. I love my grandchildren very much. They are my world. I can't wait for the next two to get here, and at times, it just seems incredibly unfair that I have to be so far away from half of them. ARRRGH. It's a no win situation. The one good thing, is Grandpa (Vinny) is there back east to pick up the side of me that can't be there. He told me a cute story last night. He has been in New York for his Dad's birthday. Chad and Cynthia left to go to a party - and left the baby (Rocco) with his sister Kathy and him at her house so they could go. Around 11pm, Rocco fell asleep, and Vinny put him to bed. Five minutes later, he woke up. Grandpa picked him up - and in his own words, "laid him on the bed, and talked to him for about five minutes". They just stared at each other. They both fell asleep- and woke to the "paparazzi" snapping pictures of both Grandpa and baby sleeping. =) I wished I could have seen that peaceful, beautiful picture...

So today, I share with you beautiful pictures of my wonderful grandchildren. I NEED some new ones of Hailey, but give what I have. I love you all, and will list them in this order. ( I think they will go bottom to top.) Holden, Hadlie, Hailey and Rocco. Then, Morgan and Natalie's baby,(just the picture) Isabella (just the picture).. =) I can't wait to meet these two! (Isabella will be Hailey's little sister).

I always wanted to be a young grandmother. I adore my grandchildren, and I want them to know that, even if they are too young right now to actually comprehend that. I LOVE EACH and EVERY ONE OF YOU. I love how love expands, and not retracts.

My children are good parents. I am proud of them. I am proud of them.

I glory in my posterity..

Been SOOOOO Long!

Gosh- where has the time gone??

Well - 3 and a half months ago, we piled our stuff in a truck, and made the move from Raleigh, North Carolina to Draper, Utah. I can't believe we have been gone SO LONG and I haven't written! It's fall now - and I love the colors on the mountain. Morgan is home from his mission, and married. We are now expecting two more grandchildren, Bella, due in December, and another one (Morgan and Natalie's) due in April. Life is good.

Vinny is still working for the Pentagon, back East - so I don't see him but once every six weeks. It is a tough sacrifice. I hope that one day everyone will truly understand just how hard this has been on US. I miss and love him dearly with all my heart.

Aliana and Nikki and Cami grow more beautiful (if that is possible) with each passing day. And I swear I have the most beautiful grandkids. I even have one I haven't even seen yet!! Rocco Aiden was born right after I moved out here... and I cannot wait to see him. He is Chad and Cynthia's son, and is so beautiful.

So - with the passing of summer - and the beginning - and almost ending of fall, I write of the beauty of the seasons. I write of my love of my family, my love of the gospel, and the love I have for my family and friends.

May you all wrap yourself in the warmth of love this season.